Spiritual Stuff

 

Smallish religious services are featured at Philmont most days.  They are typically wonderfully generic and don't last long at all.  The ones I have attended had no singing or prayers and ended with not a benediction, but with "Are there any questions?"  I am sorely tempted to use this ending back at my congregation, but not sure what I would get.  

Quite apart from the vanilla chapel presentations are the spiritual issues being here raises in me. 

Insignia.  There are plenty of people with many rows of award knots and lots of badges and pins and special "neckers" (what we used to call neckerchiefs).  I arrived with two uniforms, one fairly plain without much fanfare and one with the whole shebang.  Context is everything in how we present ourselves, but still.  For me, humility is a struggle and I am constantly challenged here to take a deep breath and NOT top the last story or even brag about my great kids.  A part of this studied humility is choosing which uniform to wear.  I have decided, solely for my own issues, to wear the plain uniform or some informal uniform from now on, except when really really required. 

Judgement.  I spend several hours a day in class on the student side of the lectern and I haven't done that in several dog lifetimes.  Here at Philmont most of the instruction is deductive in that some idea will be introduced by questions to the students. i.e. "What are the best ways to give a report to the board?"  Or even an assignment to a small group to make a presentation as a start of a discussion for what works and what doesn't.  I don't mind this style but it is used a great deal and it evokes some judgements as people contribute answers that they hope are what the instructors are looking for.  Sometimes the fishing for answers is pretty funny:  "How many commissioners earned the arrowhead award last year?"  Um.  Sometime I really want folks to present (supported) information and possibly fish for applications. 

Engagement.  There are formal and informal conversations going on almost constantly in class, in the dining hall, at activities, around the tents.  As an extrovert, I am constantly battling the urge to jump into every conversation.  Not everyone wants my particular level of engagement that is, at its worst, a form of entertainment for me.  Even at its best, as a form or caring, it can be overwhelming to introverts or people who are wrestling with something.  Controlling a very basic trait is a spiritual struggle.

New Activity.  Either I really know what I like or I am getting old.  I'm not going to climb the rock wall.  I don't want that extra spicey stuff in the pot at the back of the cafeteria. My one tiny hike resulted in a chigger hotel at the top of my socks.  So all these wonderful hikes and new experiences are not happening for me.  Now, once upon a time I DID do the Philmont trek.  But am I boring and unadventurous or am I wise?

Arguing in My Head.  Once or twice a day we listen to presentations made by important people.  They make statements and proposals that I am constantly arguing with in my head.  Not usually in a critical way, but just in an internal debate fashion. I'm not sure this is a function of my academic training, my years on the debate team, or just obstinance.  I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with this.  Sometimes we just need to say "Yes!"